The sequel to Part One.
1. You put them in charge of the utensils.
2. You DO NOT disrupt them when they are at work.
3. You only venture to the beach if this is a guarantee:
4. You grant them clearance to have pets but only ones that they can wear around their necks.
5. You have diaper races on the soft, cushy, flat surfaces of the house.
6. You promote women power which at the baby levels means a baby woman using her persuasive way to convince a baby man to go places where he can be locked up.
7. You agree, if they want to be like mommy, who am I to stop them.
8. You splurge on expensive toys.
9. You participate in the health craze by having them eat clean.
10. You outsource your playground responsibilities to a three year old.
11. You are constantly playing the fun for hours game of can you spot the missing baby?
12. You let them have their first sleepover.
13. You dress them in attire that only speaks the truth.
14. You let them drive but only while standing, and only while backwards, and only while pantless.
15. You just can’t please everyone.
16. You know above all else as a nanny safety is your primary concern and you will stop at nothing to ensure that.
17. You approve of siblings treating other siblings as pets.
18. You value the appearance and are pleased with clothes that fit well.
19. You realize the importance of keeping a consistent routine and schedule. That means napping must be done at the same time everyday and snacks should be offered at predictable times and eaten in predictable places.
20. You rely on the older one to bring home the bacon, so they might have a shot at all of them attending college.
21. You play Where’s Waldo at the park, with Thomas being Waldo.
22. You speed dial pest control to somehow assist you with this terrifying nightmare:
23. You monitor their whereabouts with the Lindsay Lohan brand of ankle bracelets.
24. You allow them to have pool time but only after they have completed the proper maintenance and repair work.
25. You applaud their impeccable folding abilities and on point organizational skills.
26. You immediately prevent situations where they are alone like this from happening just so you can stay one step ahead of them in their plot to take you down.
27. You don’t have to go to trial to know which Trishlet is the culprit.
28. You pray for anyone that happens to have a hotel room
adjacent in the same hotel as them. (And yes that is 12:34 A.M.)
29. You still can’t get over the fact that your sister gave birth to three babies at once.
30. And finally your house in a constant state of this:
because you can’t always win.