1. You let them taste test mysterious cords, pull hair, and plot your demise while voluntarily choosing to sit Full House Tanner style.
2. You let them start working out with a stability ball before the age of 1. Who cares if it is suppose to be under you and not on top of you, Henry doesn’t.
3. You start teaching them to drive at a young age because lord knows by the time they are all 16 teaching them then will send you straight to a full head of gray hairs.
4. You let them fight with swords ’til they can’t fight no more.
5. You let sore losers be sore losers when they can’t handle their inaugural game of steal the bacon.
6. You leave them perched on the shelf so you can accomplish your grocery shopping, but only on a shelf in the baby aisle, and only on the bottom shelf.
7. You let them sleep standing,
8. You let them enter at their own risk when crawling beneath the death trap known as a bouncer currently being occupied by another baby.
9. You hire a 3 year old to push the bus around the block.
10. You let them wear their hats any which way their little heart desires.
11. You applaud their self inflicted timeouts.
12. You don’t forewarn the helpless baby that a killer lion is approaching
13. You put girl socks on a boy,
and boy pajamas on a girl.
14. You let them entertain themselves for hours in places that the average sized adult still wishes they could get into.
15. You use stand-ins when one baby is uncooperative.
16. You take them outside for fresh air and give them the best swing ride of their life
17. You bring them to restaurants only under the conditions of a secluded dining area, food served two minutes after ordering it, then entirely consumed two minutes after that, and of course an endless supply of metal spoons.
18. You let them eat whatever sanitary things they can get their hands on.
19. You let the tender moments of sampling the taste and the feel of the kitchen step/floor happen in private without interruption.
20. You let this scene or a slight variation of this scene occur daily.
21. You let them make their own decision on their feelings towards soda products.
22. You let the big brother sit with them on the couch only when a grown up hand is a hand away.
And then hope he gets over his dislike for girls.
23. You don’t let them steal food off other people’s plates to eat, but you do let them steal plates to eat.
24. You are content and rather impressed with their skills at taking down the entrapment barrier.
25. You let this happen because even though he may be 3 he is still entitled to the life of leisure, just like his siblings.
26. And finally you let this happen:
because you can’t always win.