Cry, Cry Baby

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I think it is universally understood that babies cry when they are hungry, sleepy, uncomfortable or in pain, and when they are unhappy about their diaper situation. However, if you are around a baby for say just 2 hours you will quickly learn that while those types of crying do occur, they only do so roughly 10% of the time. The remaining 90% of the time the crying stems from much more complex scenarios.  If you meet these Trishlets you may think they never cry because given attention they behave strangely well, but don’t let their baby manners and the fact that there are three of them fool you.  There are “tears” flowing, flowing, and flowing on any given day. (Everything must be written thrice times.) So let me present to you a brief list of the quite common situations that provoke emotional outbursts.

18 Everyday Instances that result in the Crying of tears Fake Tears

1)  Looking at them and not making a motion to pick them up.

My take: There’s three of you and one of me, so get used to it babies.

2)  Not looking at them.

My take: Deliberately avoiding eye contact is a skill nannies of multiples must perfect or else the only other option they have is to quit their job.

3)  Climbing/Crawling on top of babies

My take: This may actually be an understandable reason for bursts of crying, but they gotta learn that other babies are off limits when constructing the lists of things you can and cannot climb.

4)  Dismissing their hands from the keyboard as they try to type f^^^GBX======//?><MPlopwn Esc key Esc key Esc key into your research paper.

My take:  I get it.  I appreciate the act of mimicking or rather reckless slapping, but there is a time and a place for everything just remember that.

5)  Removing paper and other indigestible objects from their mouth.

My take:  Your taste buds and your rabid teething ways may be telling you coupons and iPod wires are appetizing but reality is, is they aren’t.  Plus the choking factor.

6)  Standing up against the couch and another baby comes to join you.

My take:  Crying over the presence of others, while valid in some cases, is just not okay when it’s your blood.

7)  Changing and then giving another baby a bottle first.

My take:  Did I really ever expect anything less?

8)  Sitting down for dinner and not including them.

My take:  Shrieks, panting, and begging at your feet really sets the ambiance for a peaceful home cooked meal.

9)  The inability to traverse the one step into the family room.

My take:  How dare you move into a house with steps.

10)  Remaining in the crib for more than five seconds after waking up from a nap.

My take:  Don’t worry I’ll work on my baby attending skills and prop myself just outside your crib so the moment you arise I will be there to rescue you from your dreadful sleeping quarters.  Or more like make a quick escape out of the room so your unfounded screaming doesn’t wake another baby.

11)  Closing the bathroom door

My take:  Some things are meant to be done in private.

12)  Closing any door and leaving them behind.

My take:  They just love you so much they hate to see you go.

13)  The sanitary act of removing crusty snot.

My take:  Trust me baby, I’m not having any fun either.

14)  Deciding to crawl underneath the 4 inch gap between the floor and the leg of kitchen chair and proceed to get stuck.

My take:  Watching them attempt to do this is just too enjoyable to steer them otherwise.  So I say bring on the tears!

15)  Swiping of toys (you know the typical toys – remotes, coasters, wet nap packages, cell phones) out of a very unhappy baby’s hand.

My take:  All day, all the time, in any room.  They are learning to be feisty and sneaky, so if they have those two qualities do they really need to learn how to share,

16)  Holding them while sitting when they clearly want you to stand.

My take:  Geesh who made babies so entitled.

17)  Attempting to rid the sticky food particles out of their food infested hairdos.

My take:  Once again, I have your best interests at heart.  I mean do you really want to be seen in public with corn kernels and orange sweet potato highlights.

18)  Dancing on your knees and falling either forward or backward

My take:  I’m probably one of the last people you should be taking dancing advice from, but if you are willing to throw out the risky dance moves you better be willing to deal with the consequences.

Crying comes naturally to some and yet is hard for others.  For babies it is often the opposite.  Unnatural tears or screams that are produced effortlessly from their visibly upset bodies.  You observe their ways and you are quickly able discern when intervening is necessary.  For me if I intervened after each of the instances aforementioned, someone would probably have to call A&E to get their Intervention crew to come in and help me find my sanity.  Until then I’ll continue to let them be cry, cry, babies.


P.S.  As a counter argument to this post I will soon be writing about some of the things that make them happy, because even though I just highlighted all the different things that lead to crying they are actually a delight……………most of the time.


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