Tag Archives: Babies

It’s been a year, do I get a raise?

I’m back!!!!!!  First off, let me apologize for my hiatus.  Quick update: the Trishlets are getting ready for high school while Joey is preparing for his senior year.  You know the thing about going back to grad school is it seems like a good idea in theory, but honestly who wants to have to ever write a paper again or do required readings, especially when they detract from my all-important blog writing.  So I am sorry I have neglected updating you on what’s been going down in my world, and I thank the three of you outside of my family for reading my words.

A year ago this time I was in my filled to the brim CR-V with only room for my body in the driver’s seat (oh and a tray of sandwiches I took from my school on my last day of work that were leftover because good food shouldn’t go to waste, and my parents weren’t home to eat them, so I had to pack them and take them with me while keeping one arm closely on them to secure them from ending up all over my dashboard and windshield on my move down to PA) ready to take on my new adventure.  And an adventure it has been.  They went from 7 month old crying, pooping babies from when I first started to 19 month old crying, pooping babies today.  There have been some highlights and some lowlights and as a result we all now have awesome hair.

I’ve mentioned before observing the development of a child has been a daily practice for me and as they age it really has kicked into high gear.  It has been extremely interesting to see these three develop into little humans, each unique in their own way.  I am not necessarily one to look at the grand scheme of things, so taking this job one day at a time has been a natural fit for me.  I think anyone who has raised a child, is raising a child, or takes care of children for a living quickly learns to appreciate the small things in life.  These tiny things that have occurred over the last year have steered me to new levels of appreciation.  I have noticed things, seen things, and learned a few things that have brought me to where I am today.

Everyone preaches appreciate the small things in life, but it is never more true than when discussing bowel movements.  Appreciating the solidness of said bowel movement has become a ritual for me.  The joy I get when one of the Trishlets produces a solid poop is actually disturbing.  Matter of fact the whole changing process has perhaps made me a little nutty.  I say things like “hot off the presses” (when you can tell it has just come out of their body), “diaper fully loaded” (when it is packed with you know what (a word my mom doesn’t like me to say) and an obvious pun on the movie Herbie Fully Loaded ), and sometimes I sing a little song called “Henry’s (insert triplet B’s and triplet C’s name here) got the poops” in the tune of “Elmo’s got the moves.”  It’s not that I have become obsessed with their bowel movements; it’s just that the evidence shows that I have.  Hey, when you are interacting with one year olds each day and your life involves wiping babies bottoms these are the things that get you by, so step off.  Plus, to put this talk into perspective, the triplets go through approximately (12-15) diapers a day.  Times that by the 365 days I have been a nanny and that is roughly 5,000 diapers this year.  I by no means have changed all their diapers, because 1) they don’t have parents that are cruel to me, and 2) I have been separated from them for more than a day at a time, but nonetheless I do spend a significant portion of the time with them.  So I’m no math expert here but let’s just say I have been the one responsible for changing 2,000 of those diapers (may be an overestimation or perhaps an underestimation, who knows that’s why it’s called an estimation).  That’s thousands – PLURAL of diapers!!!!!!  Some parents don’t change that amount in a lifetime (I’m looking at you dads and Kim and Kanye), so I very well please can focus my attention on the excitement I get from something known as a rock-solid BM and the seemingly rote routine practice of changing a diaper.  Thank you.  It sounds like I am bragging, but I’m not, oh how I am not.

To keep with the disgusting theme, another thing I pride myself on is getting the crusty snot pieces out of their noses.  Don’t act like this is the most repulsive thing out there, if you want repulsive I’ll gladly share a story about Auggie’s (their dog) bowel movements and how they relate to the babies.  Anyway, it is a terrific sense of accomplishment when the hard stuff is finally extracted from their nose.  Don’t you agree?  You feel like a champ for accomplishing such a difficult task.  You learn to careless if you are dealing with a particularly feisty baby who gets red in the face while screaming their head off because the snot must go.  I know there is temporary discomfort, but all I’m concerned about is the feelings of elation I receive when I the job I set out to do is completed.

Another aspect of my life that I have become acutely more aware of is the expense of raising a baby.  I mean everyone is well aware that having a child is a costly thing.  Diapers alone you need to take a mortgage out for and that’s when you have one baby.  Three, forget about it.  Add formula into the equation and bam it is over.  That’s why whenever a small percentage or any residue falls from the scooper and misses their bottle I feel like I should resign on the spot, because I am essentially costing them millions.  I know I’m not perfect I just hope my employees know what my intentions are and that they aren’t to throw their money down the drain.  That’s why they had kids to begin with, right?  To throw their money down their own drain.

As the Trishlets have gotten older and wiser they have become more attentive and curious.  One of the best things about my “job” is being able to make them laugh with just a look or a noise.  Their laughter, sometimes uncontrollable, makes me feel like a comedian on a daily basis and I don’t  even have to speak (which actually may be the perfect description of my dream job – people laughing without me speaking, I guess I will be a mime then after my nannying days are over or Nelson Mandela’s funeral sign interpreter at the very least).  Yet, what is even more entertaining than making them laugh is when they laugh at themselves or when they make one of the other babies laugh.  Those scenarios really are the best.  And this portion of my post was brought to you by the Hallmark Channel.

One of the main things I have learned over this past year is what sense of entitlement babies possess.  They place such high demands on you to feed them.  They give off this air of entitlement that you must pick them up.  They shake their head when you try to do something for them but they don’t want you to.  And better yet you find them clapping for themselves all the time.  Not only are they entitled, but they are also arrogant.  They are so proud of themselves for doing anything and everything.  The act of putting a toy in a box results in clapping, they eat a kernel of corn after trying to get them to eat for a half hour results in clapping, they hit their brother upside the head, yep you got it – clapping.  Now do we have ourselves to blame for teaching them applause – partially I suppose, but it is about time they learn when it is and isn’t appropriate to clap.  And I think the round of applause they just gave Scar after singing his spotlight tune “Be Prepared” as he is plotting to kill Mufasa and Simba is the perfect example of now being the time to set them straight.  Clapping and enjoying things is wonderful, but when it relates to something naughty it must be stopped.  You got that Henry.  You got that Grace.  You got that Thomas.

And one last realization we as a collective group have made this year is we now have a complete understanding of why people send their children to daycares.  Babies destroy everything, and everything in your house becomes a hazard.  Furniture become death sentences, ledges become death sentences, curtains and blinds meet their own death, toys and paper are shredded to smithereens by some mutinous baby army, and toilets become baths.  We’ve taken steps to ensure these things don’t occur on the regular, but each day is a struggle.

I am fortunate to have had this year to be able to see day in and day out the gains these three babies have made.  They have come a long way and I am excited to see their continual development.  I posed the question “do I get a raise?” in the title and to be honest I don’t think that would be fair.  Trish and Joe have given me shelter, they have given me food, they haven’t evicted me due to the cleanliness of my room or lack thereof, they have provided chicken for me when they eat steak, and they have given me 1-ply toilet paper while they use 3.  They’ve done so much that maybe I should be asking for a deduction instead.

I’ve kept these babies alive and that is saying a lot considering the bigger entity known as Joey.  When the conversation of the day involves Joey proclaiming, “That was very nice (speaking to himself about himself).  I didn’t bite him, or punch him, or bite him,” how could you not consider the day a success.  We will see how the next year goes in terms of their survival because I just caught Gracie tiptoeing and grunting about in an attempt to turn a doorknob.  So while I’m busy appreciating the little things in my life, they without a doubt will be joining forces to outsmart me and usurp me, and then I think it may be time to pack it all in.

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First Day on the Job

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A year later

 

 

 

Baby puppies or Puppy babies?

Observation is a daily practice for me.  As Henry pushed this book below in my face while uttering more for the twelve hundredth time, it occurred to me that babies are just like the puppies being described in the pages.  Take a gander, see if the evidence speaks for itself, and then maybe you will be able to answer the age old question of: Are babies really puppies, or are puppies really babies?

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 (Obviously in their natural habitat)

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 (So much energy they managed to all crash in Tommy’s crib.)

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 (These babies don’t so much play side by side one another but rather pin and throw in some WWE moves on one another.)

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 (Joey doesn’t have a shot against the sneaky Grace.)

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 (And chewing hard objects is good for their immune systems too.)

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 (If they demand their snacks in a dog bowl, who am I to stop them.)

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(A baby’s motto, just like a puppy’s, is to rest wherever and whenever.)

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(The playing never ends for these three.)

So there you have it.  For my money I’d take babies over puppies any day because diapers, duh.

*Book seen here: Puppies by Missy Kavanaugh and Sandra Gurman

Year in Review: The Nanny Way

The 2013  year has been an eventful one to say the least.  I moved to a new state, started a new job, and went back to school, but so what, who cares.  These Trishlets and a Joey have made my year.  I could leave it at that and I think you would get the point, but I will elaborate just a tad and share some of the experiences, observations, and skills I have gained over the course of the past half year.

Let’s start this off the right way and really the way every conversation should start by discussing my new found respect for the men and women who collect garbage.  I’ve always appreciated this job as it is something that most people wouldn’t want to do themselves, but through my nanny’s eyes the level of respect I now have for them is at an all-time high.  We know babies wear diapers (and yes there are people who reuse diapers in the reusable/cloth diaper sort of way so we are aware of the options) but when you go through as many diapers as these triplets do someone is responsible for disposing all of them.  I have dealt with the immediate disposal quite well and have come accustomed to it, but my responsibility ends after my 10 foot walk followed by my toss of the wonderful smelling sack of 30+ or so diapers into the bin.  This pungent act happens roughly every 24-36 hr.  So yeah do the math.  The smelliness plus the sheer mass of diaper volume is why I just know my sister’s house is the talk of the block when the garbage people roll around every week.  They probably think we are housing tens of babies.  Thanks garbage collectors for doing what you do.

Ok with that out of the way, it’s time to discuss the skills that I have garnered over these last six months.  I’m talking serious skills too.  I knew coming in that I would probably develop a keen skill of allowing my hearing to internally muffle the sound down of multiple screaming babies, but I have gained so much more, so much more.  For instance, not to sound arrogant or anything, but I’m pretty sure I can add baby mixologist to my résumé.  I serve these babies tasty cocktails all day long.  Actually, the mixology refers to my ability to fill their bottles within the ounce-sometimes half an ounce of the target without looking.  That qualifies me for the nanny Olympics Sochi ‘14, right?  Next time you need eight ounces of liquid without a measuring tool, I’m your gal.  I am positive and hopeful(?) that this is a skill that will come in handy in my future.

In addition to my stellar estimation talents, I have learned through practice how long to let a baby cry with regards to the napping portion of the day.  With three of them, just like with most everything else, you kind of have to let them test things out and cry a little bit longer, because being alone with them you are constantly on a 3 on 1 fast break and they are gearing up the for the behind the back pass to the lob for the alley oop, if you know what I mean.  In non-sports terms if they all get clicking and deciede to scream/cry at the same time just know that I am about to be slam dunked on.  Anywho, to prevent embarrassment and shame I have learned there is a window where crying may ensue, but shortly after giggling happens and then that’s when I want to be a fly for the first time in my life just so I could peek in on them.  Scratch that, I probably won’t get the best peripheral vision as a fly unless I’m one with eight eyes or something so I’d actually rather be invisible so I can watch all of them at the same time entertain each other behind the bars of their cribs laughing it up before they fall into a slumber.  I’ve acquired the skill of knowing the exact amount of time necessary to let crying turn into laughter and that is invaluable.  So in case you lost track I want to be an invisible nanny swatting down any baby who tries to slam dunk on me.  Sorry this got so weird and creepy because nothing is creepier than a nanny who uses invisibility to enter babies’ rooms to study and be amused by how they put themselves to sleep.

I also can spot the European attire from the U.S. attire without looking at a tag.  By European attire I am  referring to high end retailer H & M and for U.S. attire that is pretty much any place in the U.S. that sells cheap yet stylish baby clothes.  Europeans (H&M designers) by my accounts put their snaps opposite us Americans.  Strange I suppose, it almost makes you wonder if they wear their diapers backwards too.

As Napoleon Dynamite would say, “Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.”  Switch around a few words in that sentence and these aforementioned skills are sure going to take me places. Continue reading Year in Review: The Nanny Way

Cry, Cry Baby

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I think it is universally understood that babies cry when they are hungry, sleepy, uncomfortable or in pain, and when they are unhappy about their diaper situation. However, if you are around a baby for say just 2 hours you will quickly learn that while those types of crying do occur, they only do so roughly 10% of the time. The remaining 90% of the time the crying stems from much more complex scenarios.  If you meet these Trishlets you may think they never cry because given attention they behave strangely well, but don’t let their baby manners and the fact that there are three of them fool you.  There are “tears” flowing, flowing, and flowing on any given day. (Everything must be written thrice times.) So let me present to you a brief list of the quite common situations that provoke emotional outbursts.

18 Everyday Instances that result in the Crying of tears Fake Tears

1)  Looking at them and not making a motion to pick them up.

My take: There’s three of you and one of me, so get used to it babies.

2)  Not looking at them.

My take: Deliberately avoiding eye contact is a skill nannies of multiples must perfect or else the only other option they have is to quit their job.

3)  Climbing/Crawling on top of babies

My take: This may actually be an understandable reason for bursts of crying, but they gotta learn that other babies are off limits when constructing the lists of things you can and cannot climb.

4)  Dismissing their hands from the keyboard as they try to type f^^^GBX======//?><MPlopwn Esc key Esc key Esc key into your research paper.

My take:  I get it.  I appreciate the act of mimicking or rather reckless slapping, but there is a time and a place for everything just remember that.

5)  Removing paper and other indigestible objects from their mouth.

My take:  Your taste buds and your rabid teething ways may be telling you coupons and iPod wires are appetizing but reality is, is they aren’t.  Plus the choking factor.

6)  Standing up against the couch and another baby comes to join you.

My take:  Crying over the presence of others, while valid in some cases, is just not okay when it’s your blood.

7)  Changing and then giving another baby a bottle first.

My take:  Did I really ever expect anything less? Continue reading Cry, Cry Baby

It’s a Babies World, and I’m just livin’ in it: Part One

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(My camera only flashes when hats are on)

I want to preface this post by saying that I am well aware that I’m not the only one out there making a living watching multiple babies.  I know that there are mothers, grandmas, extended family members, daycare workers, and even fathers who do this daily alongside me.  However, I do think that my experience is a tad unique because of the fact that I share a relation to the babies I take care of, so therefore I can write and say things that might get an aforementioned daycare worker fired.  I must admit I enjoy living in a world where I choose to risk retaining my employment by exercising my freedom of speech.

I have been on the job a little over a month and a half.  These beginning weeks have taught me a whole lot.  I quickly realized these babies are not only the directors, but also the stars while I am just some unrecognizable crew member fetching them lattes and French fries. As a 27 yr. old single girl being thrust into the stay at home mom role I have observed, experienced, and learned things I never thought possible.   I think it would be best if we discuss my discoveries by grouping them into different content areas because being a nanny is extremely complex. Continue reading It’s a Babies World, and I’m just livin’ in it: Part One